short fiction

The Letter

Through the rooftops of the town, the just rising sun blazed its glory into the sleeping inhabitants’ rooms. Birds had already busied themselves for the new day. The sea crashed playfully against the shore, while the streets lay deserted.

In one apartment a man named Julian found himself just starting to awaken when the sun’s rays first pushed through the opened window of his apartment. He rubbed his eyes and stretched. He could feel the morning breeze caress his face. He sat up and smiled. Ah, what a beautiful day it is going to be. He pulled himself out of bed, walked over to the open window and stared out at the town far below. Such a beautiful morning. In the distance, over the rooftops, he could see the sea. So alive. Perhaps, later when I’ve the time. He reluctantly pulled himself away from the opened window and headed to the bathroom to start his morning routine. He rinsed his face with the cold water from the faucet. The coldness shouted into his flesh, awaken, awaken! He dried his face on a towel, then walked across the room removing his nightshirt. He crossed over to the dresser taking out a clean shirt from one of the drawers and slid it on.

Before him lay yesterday’s mail. He picked up the loose stack of envelopes, ads and catalogs and leafed through them. What is this? How odd. No stamp, no return address, just his name centered in the middle of the envelope. Someone must have dropped it off personally. A secret admirer? How strange, I didn’t notice it the day before. He couldn’t place the handwriting on the envelope. With the curiosity of a young kitten he ripped open the envelope. The letter slid out of the envelope and into his hands. It seemed to glide open within his hands, almost as if it were alive. He stared at the carefully worked handwriting and began to read.

Dear Julian,

Each day that goes by, my heart beats only with the thought of you. You have come into my life and renewed me as the sun brings life to the earth after the long cold winter of darkness. Each morning that I awaken to the first rays of sunlight my heart calls out to you, but you do not hear. Each night I lay my head down to sleep, letting dreams of you, letting memories of you, caress me into the folds, the warm comfort of the nocturnal twilight of sleep. To look into your eyes, to see your smile is all I need to sustain my life.

But, you have turned from me to another, as if I were an old coat that no longer warms you through the cold harsh winter. As if I were something to be left in a corner or placed in an attic to collect dust. Why have you turned away from me? Why? I wonder why? I cry into the darkness night after night. I try so often to capture your attention, but it is no use. I cannot move you. You will smile and laugh with me, you will help me when I need help, but when you see her you turn away from me. Time and again, you turn away from me. You say nothing, you avoid speaking honestly to me. You hide away from the truth that can be seen clearly in your eyes. Sometimes, it seems you wish to hold both of us in your heart, but, no, I will not share you with another.

I have done all that I could to move your heart. All that I could to be the only one you wish to hold close to you, the one you wish to awaken each morning to, the one you can not live without, but it is useless. You are my life. And if you cannot choose me over another than I no longer wish for life. I am sorry, dear. I know you care, but it is not enough anymore. I can no longer go through with this. You are unfair to me. So I send this to you with all the love that I hold in my heart. I am done with this. Do not think you can change my heart, for by the time you have finished reading this I will be gone. I leave this world for another. I hope things will be different in the next.

I love you my dear. I truly love you, and I am sorry if I have brought unhappiness to you. Please forgive me if I hurt you. Perhaps some day in death we will see each other once again. Farewell my love,

Elise

He stood in shock. His hands trembled, rustling the paper within his hands. Tears filled his eyes. The letter seemed to slide from his hands to the floor below. His legs shook and wobbled, for a moment he seemed about to sink to his knees. He managed to pull his body fully erect, placed one hand on the dresser and rested his weight on that one arm. Elise, Elise, oh Elise! He stood there staring blankly into the world. Letting the tears wash down his face, while memories and thoughts flickered through his mind. After a few moments he began to move aimlessly around the room, then lost his composure again and buried his face into his hands. God, no why? What have I done? He sobbed and sobbed through the quiet beauty of that morning. After a long while the sobbing stopped, he wiped his eyes and face with his bare hands, and made his way to the window.

Before the window he stood. He seemed to stare out across the town, yet his eyes focused on nothing. The town seemed empty and quiet, even though the sun was clearly up. Far across the rooftops, the only sound that could be heard, the only thing that seemed to be moving was the waves of the ocean. The ocean, laying there in the distance at the edge of the town. In and out, in and out the waves crashed into the shore. He stood there at the window for a long while, just staring into space. The whole time the only sound, the only movement seemed to be that ocean pounding into the shore. Finally, he moved.

The tears had begun again. Slowly sliding down his cheeks, while he took a step out through the window. And then another, till he was no longer before the window but rather through the window. But he did not fall. No, rather he seemed to hover there a moment till he took another step, and then another. He proceeded to walk there in that sky above the town as if he were in some somnambulistic trance. His footsteps carried him downward to the streets far below. He appeared to walk as if he were going down a flight of stairs. Till finally his feet touched the ground. Once standing upon the streets, he continued to walk. Through the empty streets he made his way. Down one quiet, empty street after another he walked and walked.

Occasionally, his steps would take him past the few movements of the town at that hour. Down one street a child on a tricycle, rode past as if Julian did not exist. The child’s head bobbing to some unheard tune. The child’s eyes stared vacantly past Julian, they appeared to be filled with the stars. Down another street a vagrant sat, faceless to the world holding a cup that seemed to fill with the oceans of the world. Waves crashing back and forth along the sides of the cup. Another street, a crowd of young boys chased an old woman whose voice seemed to howl up and down endless streets of the world, echoing out for a brief moment until it slowly faded out. Blood seemed to trickle from her feet as she ran and birds nestled in her hair, singing into her ears. The crowd of boys and the old woman didn’t even appear to notice Julian. He kept walking unmoved by the world around him. He noticed nothing. He just walked. A crippled old man wandered down another street, a long stick braced under one shoulder supported him as he hobbled along. Gold seemed to trickle out his pockets, never ceasing its flow from his pockets, but not a trace of it was seen upon the ground past nine hobbled steps he’d take. Julian walked on by, walked on by. Just before Julian passed the streets to find himself at the end of the town, he came across a little girl singing and playing hopscotch. After every hop she’d make, the sun appeared to lower and take a different direction, but just past her the world appeared fine again. She appeared to hop between worlds, between the pages of time. She smiled up at Julian and continued on with her game.

The expression on Julian’s face never changed. It was as if everything had been drained out of him. The streets were often narrow, little more than at times an alley. He walked down those deserted streets till, eventually he was at the edge of the town with the ocean before him. The tears poured down his cheeks, but still his face changed not and still he continued to walk. He walked to the edge of the ocean, and then continued on into the ocean. The sea lapped at his feet, then his knees, his waist, his shoulders, till eventually it covered all of his being, all of his physical form. He did not stop once as he slowly made his way into the ocean. While the whole time the tears continued down his face. He walked into the ocean and was never seen again.

Far across the town in his apartment the letter stirred. It slid up into the air gliding upon the wind till it soared about the room and out the window. It glided upon the breeze, and flew out across the town.

Posted on January 11th, 2007 in intro |